beauty inside and out.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Windows To My Soul

I've always taken good care of my eyes since my paternal grandmother lost her eyesight a few years before she died. It has always been my fear to not be able to see things around me. As a kid, I entertained myself all throughout my travels to and from school (Cavite to Makati), by reading signs all around me. I mastered the places from Dasma to Makati because of that. Imagine my fright at seeing a lump on my eyelid while applying powder on my face last Sunday.

It was the usual weekend. After a visit to the dentist the day before, Augy and I stuffed ourselves with food in Max's along Quezon Avenue. We then checked into the Great Eastern Hotel where I napped for a few hours before waking up to go grocery-shopping in Landmark. After buying water and food, we walked around Trinoma before going back to the hotel. We watched tv and ate a lot. Augy snacked on Mexican-style peanuts and chicharon while I ate chocolate ensaymada and Milkiway from Bread Talk. The next day, we ordered rice and sisig and slept until it was an hour before checkout. After dressing up, I proceeded to apply powder on my face. I noticed a lump on my upper eyelid. I touched it and felt a hard, small marble-like thing right smack on my eyelid. I felt chills up and down my spine. It was painless really. You wouldn't even notice it unless I close my eye. I asked Augy to take a look and he told me to see a doctor once I get home. I was already imagining things. Like how many months I would stay alive and stuff. Hehe.

Unfortunately, it rained hard once I got off the bus in Golden City. My umbrella got all tangled while I battled the strong wind and rain. Once I boarded a jeepney to my village, I was bit soaked. I sent a message to my mom asking her to inform Erwin to fetch me in the grocery store outside our village. My mom and Kit were in the mall buying stuff for his swimming class so I had to call Gem so he can ask Erwin to bring my umbrella and Havaianas with me. My brand new gray sandals are too beautiful to use for traipsing on mud and rain water. When Erwin got to the commercial complex where I sought shelter, he only brought an umbrella. I admit it was mean for me to insist on him going back home to get my flipflops but that is just what he did. With thunder and lightning making a racket and the rain pouring down like there was no tomorrow, Erwin and I walked home. He brought a sturdy umbrella for me but I still got wet. Once I entered the safety and warmth of the living room, I told my grandma about the lump. She told me it was kuliti' or stye. I told her it wasn't a stye. Gem checked on it and told me that it looked similar to the bacterial infection that his classmate had. It got cured by hot compress and medication.

The minute Kit and my mom arrived from the mall, I showed her the lump. She told me to see a doctor the next day. My dad was still in Quezon so nobody can drive me to the hospital that afternoon. After getting soaked, I didn’t want to venture outside.

I woke up at 5:00 the next day. I ate a filling breakfast and took a cold bath before leaving the house with Gem. He got down near the entrance for the students since they're not allowed to enter the hospital area early in the morning. I went to the bulletin board with the names of the doctors listed and their room numbers. I entered the wrong clinic so the secretary pointed me out to the ophthalmologist's clinic next door. I found myself waiting for Dr. Capili's secretary to get there. She arrived at 9:30 am. I was there as early as 7:30. Bummer. I had my name listed. I was patient number 5. I went to the washroom and bought bottled water in the canteen before going back to the clinic. There were so many people waiting for doctors in the hallway. Some had to stand up because the seats were all filled. When my name got called, I entered the room and told the doctor about my woes. He checked my eyesight first because I told him that I wanted to wear eyeglasses then he looked at the lump. He told me he had to operate on it. The lump was a cyst. A chalazion caused by the inflammation of meibomian glands. I was shocked. I asked him when I need to have the operation and how much I had to spend. I went there alone and I only had three thousand bucks with me. He told me that it would cost 1, 500. I agreed to have it removed. He told me that we don't need to cover it with a patch and everything would be okay in minutes. He played soothing music and told me to lie down on the bed. He put two drops of this cool liquid that was supposed to numb my eyelids so I wouldn't feel too much pain. He put a clamp on my left eyelid and got ready for the operation. I could hear him moving near me preparing the apparatus and whatever he needed to remove the cyst. I placed my hands on my tummy and took a deep breath. I was thinking that it couldn't be worse than having my face injected because of acne. I felt so scared because I knew it would be painful. I felt him poke on my eyelid and scrape it. It took less than 10 minutes but it was frightening. I almost had the urge to hold the secretary's hand because she was standing near me. The doctor placed a thick ball of tissue on my eye after he instructed me to close it. I felt tears flowing from my eyes. I sat up but he told me to lie down for a few minutes. He removed the tissue and replaced it with another wad, he asked me to hold on to it and stand up. He asked me to look at my eye in the mirror. I saw that my eyelid was red but there was no lump. He said the cyst was spreading because my pores were clogged. I don't put on makeup so I was wondering if it was because of the powder. I saw blood on the tissue and I felt faint. I could hardly understand his instructions about putting antibiotics on my eye. I even forgot to get a medical certificate. I was broke when I left the clinic. I had a pair of eyeglasses made so that reading would be a lot easier. I'd get it in a few days. The pain was too much for me. It felt like somebody just poked my eye with a pencil and it hurt when I blinked. I almost bumped into an old woman in a wheelchair while walking down the hall. I went straight to the pharmacy but they didn't have the eyedrops there. I had to take the jeepney to the Mercury Drug branch in front of Waltermart. I thought of going home and asking Erwin to buy it for me but it was a waste of money and I was already broke. Thank heavens, I had enough left for the antibiotics, Tobramycin and a bag of Kornets.

I took this picture an hour before my minor operation. See my left eyelid? You won't notice the lump at all.

I asked Erwin to put antibiotics on my eye when I got home. I stayed home for two days lest it gets exposed to dust and gets infected. I just felt relieved because it was just a minor operation and my condition wasn't serious. All I have is excitement for my new eyeglasses. Haha!

feistylittle bitch
5:49 PM