beauty inside and out.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Family, Shopping, Past and Present...

I can hear firecrackers whizzing past the window and creating booming noises in the air. A few hours more and everyone will usher in the year of my dad. I'm not kidding. It's my dad's year because he was born on the Year of the Pig. No pun intended because of his size. He used to have abs. I kid you not. I saw his pictures about 20 or so years ago and he would pass for an underwear model. Let us not talk about his beer belly now and the fact that he has another lechon waiting for him in the kitchen. He roasted a pig's head for noche buena and he has one again for the media noche. Whatever makes him happy.

If my dad is all for lechon, my mom is obsessed with completing the round fruits on her checklist for our New Year celebration. Nevermind if we don't really like the other ones she bought with my niece when they went to the market this morning. I heard her asking Kit to buy mangosteen in the supermarket later. Any fruit as long as they look round.

Kit is in the mall buying two shirts for him and Gem. My brother is morphing into a shopaholic. He cajoled my mom, lola and me to give him money this morning so he can go to SM Dasma with friends and shop. Lord, one shopaholic in the family is enough.

***

It's the last day of 2006 and I ended up sniffling. I wasn't able to attend Xydia's wedding. It was held in Hong Kong and I'm here as everyone can see. I can't believe my high school best friend just got married. I couldn't help but become teary-eyed with the realization that I wasn't there on her special day and I'm getting old. It looks like almost everyone I know are married, planning to get married, raising kids and making babies. Look at me. The first thought I had this morning when I woke up was my media noche outfit. I feel like a teenager. My niece said I look 18 not 25. The anti-aging beauty products must be doing wonders on my skin or is it because I'm worry-free?

Lu-de Guzman nuptials in Hong Kong

***

My cousins, Quincy and Jeoff stayed in the house for three days and two nights with my aunt and their yaya. Jeoff ended up pulling Christmas decors from our tree and throwing them behind the cabinet. The tree now looks like it's about to fall to one side after the abuse. My mom gave Quin a Barbie for Christmas. After opening it, my aunt whispered into my ear that my little cousin was disappointed because the doll didn't come with mirrors and other accessories. They tell me she took after me when it comes to tantrums, stubbornness and the infamous topak. Goodness, she is Pem times two thousand.

me and porky pig Jeoff =)

Jeoff hugging Quin's toy

kid at heart

The day after they arrived, my aunt took her to Robinson's Place Imus so she can see the Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses decor. She ended up buying a doll that is almost the same size as her with a button on the tummy that she can press to listen to a lively tune programmed inside the toy. Jeoff enjoyed pressing it and dancing when the music starts blaring. We were delighted to find out that he holds pencils and ballpens really well and loves scribbling on paper. For a one-year-old, it is a joy to see him showing interest in writing. Quincy, on the other hand has great potential for tormenting other kids. She had our laundrywoman's pesky son thrown off the couch and lying flat on the floor. My aunt gave her a nasty scolding when the boy and his mom left. Why? At one time, she put her arm around the boy and told him, "Ang baho mo naman." We can't stop her from saying what's on her mind. Kids don't lie. I just hope she knows when to keep her mouth shut. Augy found it cute. I found it embarrassing. Gem wanted to give her a pat in the back because he doesn't like the naughty little boy. Nakahanap ng katapat.

***

I need to get one of those plastic handcuffs the next time I venture inside a mall. I just cannot control myself from burning cash. In Augy's words, nakakatakot ako kapag madaming pera. We went to Market! Market! yesterday so I can go shopping. My fourth shopping spree in a span of two weeks. We had lunch at the newly-opened Gerry's Grill. Our tummies bulged from the lumpiang sariwa, spicy garlic chicken, adobo flakes and garlic rice we munched on. I sipped a glass of ripe mango shake and he drank two cans of coke. We walked to Serendra after our meal and we swooned over beautiful, interesting books in A Different Bookstore. I will definitely go back there to buy Gabriel Garcia Marquez's memoir, a novel by Zora Neale Hurston and a book about Audrey Hepburn. Augy was looking for a book about his favorite band, U2 and one of the ladies in the bookstore asked him to leave his contact number in their records once they get hold of the book. We just found another haven.

pigging out at Gerry's

I went home with a gray bolero, two pairs of knickers in black and brown and a black handbag. I was supposed to buy the same bolero in dark brown, but Augy made me change my mind by saying that I'll look maitim if I wear it. I ditched the piece of clothing and just dragged Augy around the mall to look for other things. Am I done shopping? Not!

***

Saddam Hussein was hanged yesterday. Grief for the Sunnis who support him and justice for the Shiites who he tormented during his reign. When will we ever have peace? It has been years since the Gulf War and Operation Desert Storm. I can't believe things would end this way.

feistylittle bitch
6:15 PM

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Jolly, Stressful Christmas

In between chewing and wolfing down food and sending messages to friends, I try to shake off the dizziness just to finish my post. Christmas came as a blur and I have to echo Gem's sentiments that we didn't get to enjoy and revel in the joyous occasion like before. If not for the extra horrendous traffic and the stressful shopping sprees, I wouldn't have been able to distinguish the difference of Christmas from any other day in my life. Sad but true. It is not as exciting and solemn as it was during my younger years. The holiday is a mere excuse for me to overindulge in desserts and pasta which I couldn't do on ordinary days. May God forgive me, but I am trying to make up for my sins by reflecting on the previous months when I've been a hundred times bitchy.

How did I celebrate Christmas? I spent the week before it by shopping thrice, getting stuck in traffic, bickering with Augy and fighting with San Agustin Liner's squatter of a conductor (I'm sorry, but I can't help not to hate the jerk). I drove myself (and Augy) mad by walking in and out of shops, fitting shoes, drooling over clothes and jerking my head in this and that direction when something catches my fancy. I burn cash like it's a cinch taking calls all night and it's nice treating Sutherland as my second home. I'm 25, single and hell bent on enjoying my life before I tie the knot ( which could be soon. =p)
***
I spent a week sleeping in the office's break room with Jill after our shift because I was not as gutsy as Erika to brave the dark streets and face lurking criminals in the metro. I detested the whole thing except that my teammates are fun to be with and I'm usually too exhausted to complain about my predicament. The whole week went into a roll with us exchanging gifts for our team's Kris Kringle last Friday. I received a jewelry box from Joan with a rose placed beautifully on top of the cover and lace strewn all around the white ceramic. I was thrilled to open it and get a peek at a pair of jade earrings and a long necklace with green and black beads. She was jittery about giving me the gift because she thought I wouldn't find it suitable to my taste. Since she's a bit boyish, she ended up scratching her head when I scribbled 'accessories' on my wishlist. She asked the saleslady to pick out the baubles. I loved them so much that I vowed to wear them on Christmas. I was gracious in accepting the gifts that I knew she took the time out from childrearing and work to buy for me.

The opposite thing happened to Christel. She was dreading the time for us to hand over our gifts because she sensed that our kleptomaniac-psychopath teammate was the one who picked the piece of paper that her name was scribbled on. Terrible indeed because her guess was right. After our supervisor, Ren handed us each a Marks and Spencer paper bag with a bar of melt-in-your-mouth dark chocolate inside, I followed her, Joan and Erika to the washroom where she opened her gift and gasped when she saw a white shapeless blouse that looked as if it was hauled out of a grandmother's ancient 'baul' and a scarf that was too long and thin to be called one. We endured listening to her rant outside the office while our friends were smoking. I ended up leaving the blouse and scarf with Ren when I went up to the break room to sleep.

I missed Jill terribly because she will spend one whole week of shopping and eating in Bangkok with her boyfriend, Jeff and his family. She left that night and I had to sleep by my lonesome. Well, I wasn't really alone because some employees were already stretched out in mattresses when I got there. I shut my eyes as tight as I could so I would doze off right away. Lo and behold! I ended up getting out of there at past six. I was horrified to see the time and Augy's urgent message asking me where I was. I missed Jill more because I wake up on time when she's with me. I scurried out of the office to catch the bus bound for Cavite before dozens of vehicles choke Coastal Road and I waste half the Saturday morning staring out the window into the sea.
***

I didn't get to sleep at all because my mom, Gem and I had to go to SM Dasma for our real Christmas shopping. That meant buying presents for family and friends and not for me. We rode the jeepney because no one among us can drive and my dad was in the office. Gem and I spent the whole time playing fashion police to ease the boredom of a 15-minute ride. We entered the mall anticipating the stress of dodging other people while looking for affordable but great purchases. Gem and I trudged along with me eyeing Maldita from a distance when we saw our mom entering Celine. I retraced my steps and followed her. I saw a beautifully-crafted shoe that screamed at me from the stand. I could see my name written all over it. It was exquisite and I knew it was made for me. I picked it up and squealed when I saw that it was so cheap. I could barely contain my excitement as I handed two shoes into my mom's hands and asked her to get them in my size while I run to the nearest ATM machine to withdraw cash. We were supposed to buy things for other people, but temptation got the best of me. I was close to tearing my hair in frustration at the long queue that welcomed me. Gem and I spent the whole time entertaining ourselves by looking at the others who were waiting for their turns.

I sprinted to the store as fast as I could with Gem hot on my heels. I even made the mistake of going into the direction of the door where the guys were being inspected before entering the establishment. The guard pointed me to where my kind is supposed to pass through. I didn't even blush at the embarrassing blunder since I knew that two pairs of lovely shoes were waiting for me. Unfortunately, they didn't have the peep-toe sandals that I want in my size. I was left with the first pair that captivated me. The shopping spree was supposed to be for loved ones, but I walked out of there with a long black necklace with gold specks, a black top and a pair of knickers. We bought a gift for my childhood friend in The Body Shop, bottles of lotion for Gem's friends in Scents and Blends, a toy car for my cousin, shirts for my brothers (which cost a lot), a camel-colored bag for Gem (which cost a fortune) and a top for my niece who lives with us. People were starting to crowd inside the mall by lunch. I treated my mom and my brother to lunch at the French Baker.

It was a very exhausting day. I was relieved that I wore my new trainers and not my sandals or else I would have gone home limping. The difficult part was shopping for my brothers because they do not wear anything bought in some cheap stores. Damn. It would have been okay if they were the ones paying for everything. Oh well, it's Christmas so we let them have what they want. A funny thing happened to me while fitting into my brown knickers. My mom headed to Red Ribbon to buy a cake so Gem accompanied me. I wanted him to see if it looked good on me so I pushed at the door. It wouldn't budge. I called out to him nervously because I have this thing about fitting rooms. I pushed it going to his direction. We found out after that it was supposed to be pushed into my direction not his. That explained why it got stuck after I pushed so hard. After paying for it, we met up with our mom and told her about the incident. Gem told me that he was supposed to beg the guy manning the counter to help me. Thank heavens, we figured it out or else we might have looked stupid not knowing how to open a fitting room door. It was fitting room incident number 3 for me.
***

The next day (yesterday), I woke up so early since I slept before nine o'clock the previous night. I didn't even hear my parents and lola arriving from Pasay after delivering poultry and meat because I was so tired. My feet ached from all the walking I did. My mom and lola went to the market to buy some more food for noche buena while my dad went to the office again. I spent the whole day tinkering with my mp3, bugging Gem to fix my blog and sleeping.

My mom called my grandmothers in Antique and I got to talk to my mom's nanay in broken Bisaya. She doesn't talk in Tagalog even around the kids so when Kit had his turn on the phone, I heard him asking my lola to repeat what she said because he couldn't understand some things. I couldn't help but wax sentimental about the holidays spent in Antique when I was a kid and I was left in the care of my maternal grandparents. I remember feasting on suman and other kakanins, hanging a sock and seeing lots of goodies stuffed inside the next day and staring at a Christmas bell made out of papel de japon that my grandparents would hang by the window. I miss the times when my lola would fill the plastic used in making ice candy with food coloring diluted in water and hang them in the branches of our trees in the yard. The sunlight would magically turn them into colorful, sparkling tubes. New Year would be another delightful experience with cannons made of bamboo emitting loud noises. Everything was joyful and uncomplicated then. If it weren't for my parents and for my brothers now, I would want to go back and relieve every single thing.
***

After that afternoon conversation with my lolas, I called my aunt in Montalban to talk to Quincy using my mom's phone. I sat on my parents' bed watching my mom wrap presents and dialed my aunt's number. Sweet Jeoff said hello to me. He sounded cute. My aunt asked Quin to greet me a merry Christmas, but the little bitch refused to talk. I could have sworn she's starting to sound like me at her young age. That little brat. My mom called again while I was sleeping and she talked with her on the phone.
***

With noche buena a few hours away, I retreated to my room after dinner and slept. I woke up to my lola's screechy voice reprimanding me for not taking a bath yet. I grabbed my phone and balked when I saw that it was midnight and I was still wearing my Sesame street shirt and friends have been sending me Christmas messages already. I hastily took a bath, slathered on lotion, dried my hair and changed into my Christmas outfit. My stomach was grumbling because I only ate garlic chicken dipped in ketchup for dinner. My mom told me that she didn't cook the spaghetti noodles yet so I ended up eating a slice of the choco marjolaine cake, a bowl of fruit salad and empanada. My brothers and I took pictures before they went to bed. Kit spent a few hours talking on the phone and I dozed off before six in the morning.

let us eat cake!

taking snapshots in the dark

with the lights twinkling...

just got out of bed...

Kit goofing around

Gem hogging the camera

red and gold motif for the last two years...

***

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing at eight. My aunt in Palau called to greet us and I sleepily scrambled out of bed to hand the phone to my mom. I haven't slept a wink since then. The whole day was spent eating spaghetti, nibbling on cake and sipping iced tea. The real meal I had was the pasta and half of a sandwich piled with tuna and cheese.

Now, my tummy is aching and I have no clue whether it is from ulcer, hyperacidity or worse, appendicitis (as Gem nonchalantly tells me in an attempt to scare me into letting him play with the computer). So this Christmas will leave me with memories of flabby arms, a reminder that a girl can't have too many shoes, clothes and thingamajigs and an excruciating pain in the tummy.

in my pink pjs sans makeup

*written yesterday, Christmas day

feistylittle bitch
6:18 AM

Monday, December 18, 2006

Weekend Rundown

Last week, I ran into some unfortunate events that made me stay at home for one whole night. On Thursday morning, my supervisor sent an email informing us of the new schedule, 4:00 pm to 1:00 am which was done due to 'business need'. I had to bite my tongue to keep from ranting about the whole thing. Jill, Tippy and I ended up grumbling in whispers. Augy was more upset about it than I was. The frigging schedule meant that I have to stay in the sleeping area until 4:30 am everyday because it's safer to venture out into the streets by that time. After what happened to Erika, we are on heightened red alert when traveling home.

I got home at 8:00 am after my shift no thanks to heavy traffic in the congested Aguinaldo Highway. The governor should change that sign in Coastal Road that says "Welcome to Cavite. Cradle of the Philippine Revolution and the Birthplace of Independence." into something that is not deceiving to clueless travelers. I want to start a revolution of my own because of traffic enforcers, 30-minute counterflows and concrete islands constructed right smack a very narrow road. I was feeling a bit woozy when I entered the house. I felt like I had a little to drink because of the heat. Sabi ko nga hindi ako puwede maghirap. The heat will fry me to a crisp. I wryly informed my lola of my new schedule and grumbled that it starts on that same day. I dialed Erika's number and explained about the abrupt schedule change before taking a rest. I plopped down in bed after sipping my hot Milo and fell asleep after tossing and turning. My lola woke me up for lunch and I demanded to be served the viands from their two last meals that I had asked to be stored for me. That is how my diet works. I eat at a designated time even if I like the food at home. I ask for the leftovers to be refrigerated then shoved inside the microwave at my meal time.

I caught a whiff of the mouthwatering pinakbet that my dad prepared the night before as soon as my lola entered the dining area. She placed the bowl right in front of me and I stuck the serving spoon to get a heap of vegetables onto my plate. I asked for the alimasag. The 'fat' one she chose for me the other night. I licked my lips upon catching sight of it atop the lazy Susan. I attacked my small serving of rice and vegetables and poured sabaw on it. I spooned and chewed food inside my mouth before picking on the alimasag. After eating, my lola and I had a little chat. I was looking at the clock to make sure I have enough time to take a bath and head to work regardless of the short rest I had.

I felt the first attack of pain while my lola was talking to me. It was like being back to my gastroenteritis days. I winced and ran to the washroom where I dumped everything I ate. The punishment for gluttony has manifested itself. Tears formed in my eyes due to the pain. I ended up sending a message to my supervisor advising her of my absence. She asked if I can go on half-day to which I agreed to before taking a catnap. The next thing I knew, it was 9:00 in the evening. Jill sent a message to me hours ago saying that she'll come in late to work. I sent a message to my supervisor again to apologize for waking up late. I spent the rest of my time in bed arguing with Augy over the Batangas trip I didn't go to.
***
After my bout with pain, I was curious about how peppermint tea tastes like so I took a teabag, soaked it in a mug of boiling water and waited for about five minutes for the water to turn really dark. Upon taking a sip, I surmised that I would rather settle for milk tea anytime. I hate everything peppermint. The taste doesn't appeal to me that is why the only holiday beverage I have ever tried in Starbucks is the toffee nut frappuccino. I drink it while taking bites of the toffee butterscotch bar. I don't like the beverage that much, but partnered with the pastry, I declare it heavenly.

Another addiction I cannot seem to get over with is the one I share with Tippy. We have a thing about Oishi's Cheese and Onion flavored Bread Pan. I buy a bag before I head to my workstation in the evening and then I raid the kitchen for another one when I get home. I make sure to have C2 Peach, Nestea iced tea or mango juice to go with it. Hello, monosodium glutamate! I envy my brother Gem who only eats junk food occasionally. He detests MSG and swears by the wonders of eating healthy. With my frame, I should be the one watching what I eat.
***
After weeks of waiting for the renovations to finish, Gem was able to assemble our Christmas tree. He only had half of it filled with Christmas balls, poinsettias, candy canes and red shimmery ribbons so my mom and lola took over last weekend. They were also able to put twinkling lights in various colors in the window grills. My lola hung her lantern made of seashells near the front door. It's my favorite lantern because of its uniqueness. I still haven't started with my shopping list. Perfect!
***
I went to Market! Market! yesterday to see Augy. We have been fighting for a week already and a ceasefire was declared so we can talk. After getting some cash from my ATM account, we headed to Starbucks where I ordered my venti mocha frappuccino. I usually order java chip frappe, but Augy doesn't like it so I bought his fave drink of all time, mocha frappe so he can take sips. We didn't go shopping with his mom after all the hullabaloo it caused, but agreed on going to Glorietta instead so we can check out the electronic stores there after lunch. The first thing we did was have lunch in T.G.I Friday's. We were asked to wait outside for a table for two by this girl who looked a lot like Sunshine Cruz. Upon getting a table near the bar with a television set that showed Sauna Belt commercials (deja vu), we ordered a barbecue burger, chicken alfredo and mocha mud pie.

cab rides

lunch at t.g.i friday's

Augy and I had our usual chats while I sent Iryn messages. She was in Greenbelt with Karl and her mom. I don't know why our conversation drifted to my personality. Augy said if I were a male, I would be a bigger asshole than he is. Well, a bigger asshole in some ways I guess. I have to admit that I can be such a bitch. Sometimes the b word is an understatement.

We spent more than an hour in the restaurant before deciding to go around the mall. The waiter forgot to take down my order for the mocha mud pie and we decided not to make a fuss because it was an honest mistake, we were in a hurry and I am on a diet the last time I checked. After making the rounds and making no progress in the search for the perfect gadget for me, we hailed a cab and went to SM Edsa. I started whining until Augy stopped me with his sentiments about the 'mall of his childhood'. We ended up walking around for more than an hour looking for an iPod or Creative Zen for me before finally buying a Creative Zen in 5th Avenue. I chose it over the iPod Nano because of the videos. I am not into gadgets so I would settle for something more useful for me over something cool. He bought one for himself after selling his iPod video. He didn't use it that much anyway. I was the one who tinkered with it all the time so I can listen to my favorite tunes. I convinced him to download songs by the Pussycat Dolls, Beyonce, and Britney Spears. Haha!

Augy gave me a tour of the mall after I went to Watson's to purchase a very cheap pair of flipflops with orange straps. My feet were killing me and every step I took brought a stabbing pain to my fragile heels and legs. I told him that my feet are not made for walking long distances unless I had on a pair of comfy flipflops. Imagine the relief it brought me after removing my sandals and putting on the flipflops. I felt like prancing around the mall and shopping like crazy. The frenzy of shoppers and the unfamiliarity of the mall hindered me from shopping to the fullest. I was only able to buy a pair of trainers in charcoal and white and two tops. One with pink and white stripes and another in gray and black stripes. I still need to get a number of belts, shoes, accessories, an everyday black bag, headbands, makeup, gifts for family and friends before I can finally shout, mission accomplished! Augy and I still need to buy the dela Rosa unica hija, Lizzie a gift tomorrow.

***

Because my schedule sucks and I was feeling down in the dumps last Friday, I agreed on going out with friends. Our supervisor, Ren informed us that there were still some cash leftover from the teambuilding funds so we can head over to Pier 1 to have a few drinks. My teammates and I took three cabs to Pier 1 where we found out that we couldn't get seats after 30 minutes of waiting. We hopped over to Baywalk where we ordered sisig, garlic mushroom, cans of San Mig Light and Strong Ice. I settled for a mango shake and a hotdog sandwich. Jill ordered margarita. I took a sip and promised to treat myself to one the next time I go out with friends. We spent more than an hour talking and laughing at the people around us. Bad! The only time we decided to pay our bills and leave was when the toilets were being closed and our bladders were about to burst. Ren, Tippy and I found a place to go to that was a few steps away from where we were sitting. Cowboy Grill! We didn't like the crowd. We hated the crowd and we spent the whole morning laughing at those dancing like addicts on the dance floor. Hopping was more like it. We ordered a barrel of beer, fries and pizza before calling it a night. We were hoping that we went to Malate instead of killing time there. What a bummer.

I went home with Erika and Ogie because they both live in Bacoor. We took an FX taxi to Baclaran where the driver made us get off on the wrong side of the road which meant that we had to cross Roxas Boulevard through the much-dreaded overpass just to ride the bus bound for Cavite. My knees felt wobbly while I climbed up the stairs and made my way to the other side. There were sleeping vendors, covered merchandise and an assortment of people walking around. My heart was drumming wildly while I clung to my precious bag. I kept thinking about my ATM card inside and I couldn't help but wish for me to get inside the safe confines of the bus asap. I walked a few steps ahead of Erika and Ogie and whenever I see guys whispering or talking to each other, I felt like running like a bunny rabbit to the exit. My paranoia showed when a teenager in red almost bumped into me. Thinking that he was a snatcher, I suddenly jerked my arm, clutched my bag tightly and got ready for a strong jab to the right. I was ready to give a punch that would rival Pacquiao's powerful defense. May dugo ng mga Katipunero't Katipunera yatang nananalaytay sa mga ugat ko. Hmp! Of course, I was just jumping to conclusions. He was pretty harmless. I felt beads of sweat forming in my forehead. It was cold, but I was sweating like a pig. Parang nabawasan ang calories sa mga kinain ko. My friends and I boarded the first San Agustin bus we saw. Erika and I laughed nervously once we settled on a seat for three passengers. I was thinking how I would fare once I go home after my shift without Erika to keep me company. I should keep a pair of scissors handy and have the spirit of one of my ancestors to guide me. Haha!

feistylittle bitch
7:29 AM

Friday, December 15, 2006

Not-so-happy holidays

Gladz is upset because of me. I just got upset at Augy. Who says I'm happy now. I'm going to have a miserable Christmas. If I can only cut my body in half or be in two places at the same time to please everybody then the world would be perfect....

feistylittle bitch
10:03 AM

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

You can't have your cake and eat it too...

I believe there is some truth to it. I feel a twinge of sadness whenever the thought of not coming to Batangas with Gladz goes through my mind yet I feel a bit excited to shop next weekend with Augy and his mom. I am a shopaholic who loves her friends and would do everything to spend time with them if the schedule permits me to. I am crossing my fingers that I can see my friends next time.

Augy and I have been through a stressful Monday with the flurry of text messages and angry phone calls. I have a stubborn streak and Augy can be pretty tough at times so one can just imagine the riot we had for one whole morning. I only had less than two hours of sleep before going to work and I deeply regret battling it out with him and then making up after a few hours. If I only spent all that time sleeping...but heaven knows I fought really hard for the trip to Batangas. In the end, we were able to compromise. I will go shopping with Mrs. de Villa and Augy will make sure I get my weekend in the beach by next month. We will get Gladz a nice Christmas present to make up for my absence (though nothing cuts it more than being there). I have something in mind that would make her heart do little flip-flops.

I have scanned several magazines and catalogues for stylish clothes and to-die-for shoes and I am so excited to go shopping. Augy and I will accompany her mom while she makes her own purchases then scurry off to buy stuff for moi after. Yipee!

Not only that! I get an iPod Nano for the grief I had to go through. Isn't Augy the sweetest? (I still miss Gladz though. Sniff...sniff...)

***

Our house is devoid of holiday decors except for our lonely Christmas tree with an angel on top and no trimmings. The renovation is done so I expect to be able to finish decorating this Saturday. We plan to make everything simple this year. Our hearts are brimming with happiness so we don't really need to overdo the decors.

My aunt and her family will come over on the 25th. I am wracking my brains for a gift for Quin. My lola told me I should buy her a dress or a pair of shoes instead of the Barbie she yearns for. Her philosophy is that we are spoiling my cousin rotten at the tender age of four. I can't help it. I don't want to disappoint her. I'll probably ask my mom to buy her clothes then I'll scan the toy store for an exquisite doll. I saw the price of one Dancing Princess Barbie and I almost fell off the couch. I hope I don't splurge all my moolah in one weekend. I haven't started with my Christmas shopping yet. Gem wants a Girbaud bag, Kit wants a video card for the computer, Smart Broadband and whathaveyou. I need to remind them that their big sister is not a multi-millionaire yet. Haha!

***
I won't have work on the 25th and the 26th. We're still thinking of what to do on the 25th when my cousins come over. I'll have work on January 1 and 2 then I'll have a three-day hiatus.

***

I saw a former co-worker this morning. The first thing he told me was that I gained weight. Augy told me the guy's nuts because almost everyone in Xbox told me I look slim (though I think the word slim is not apt to describe my body). I don't really care. I am starving myself to fit into the clothes I will buy this weekend. I am starting my so-called anorexic diet this very minute. I will miss my KitKat chocolate wafer bars.

***

My teammates noticed how I love to take pictures of myself. No doubt about it.

Here are more snapshots. Haha!

a picture inside the cab last Thursday after dropping by Xbox to see friends

one I took before bingeing on food in Dampa

feistylittle bitch
10:45 AM

Monday, December 11, 2006

Grief

It's raining cats and dogs outside. I had my weekend planned out in my head. My teammates and I had an early lunch slash teambuilding in Dampa, Diosdado Macapagal Avenue last Saturday. I wolfed down leche flan, sisig, steamed lapu-lapu, sweet and sour fish, and calamares in one sitting. Nevermind the diet so I can fit into my two-piece swimsuits and tankini. I rarely indulge myself so I had selective amnesia that day and went on munching.

***

In the middle of an animated conversation with friends, my phone rang. I didn't notice that a message was sent to me a few minutes before that. It was Augy. He was upset about a testimonial I wrote for a friend who turns out to be an ex. So I didn't tell him about adding the testimonial. Shoot me. I know he wouldn't approve of it. I have a mind of my own and I can be pretty bull-headed at times. I'll do what I want and screw the consequences. I know I was wrong, but I did it because I am certain that he wouldn't let me write something for the chap. For crying out loud, it has been three years since the time I went out with him. He's in a long-term relationship with a girlfriend that he has known since college. I am not too much of a bitch to ruin what I have now and seduce the guy. Believe me, I am so sick of men and their ways that I'd rather be with my best friend than torment myself over them.

****

So I am facing objections about a trip to Batangas with my best friend and our college friends next weekend. I went on a diet for a month just for this much-anticipated beach rendezvous. It has been three years since I've seen some of them. I find the reasons unacceptable because I had this planned out a month ago. The frustration tears at my heart. What a great way to cry while the rain falls outside. My life is cold and dreary. My heart is broken into pieces.

***

I was supposed to go to the mall with my parents, lola and niece this afternoon to buy beach shorts and flipflops, but I stayed home. I ended up sleeping in my bedroom wrapped in my blanket and with the radio blaring to drown out the sounds of the pounding rain. I was roused from a fitful slumber by Gem who asked me to print his homework. I ended up taking a freezing bath in the middle of the night to do what he asked and to lament on my current situation. I am comforted by the thought that I can sob all I want in this cozy nook we had the carpenters make for us two weeks ago. I can hear the wind howling, the rain rushing down from the water spout and my mournful sighs while typing this post with no Spell Check and no Microsoft Word to guide me. I am obsessed with grammar, but not tonight. There are more things to cry about than pathetic grammar.

feistylittle bitch
12:47 AM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The color of happiness is pink!

There are some things from the past that I cannot change. All I can do is find things that can surpass them...

Like how Typhoon Reming surpassed Typhoon Milenyo's wrath.

When memories from the past come back to haunt you, to hurt you or annoy you, the best thing to do is create your own wondrous memories to obliterate all of them.

***

It's going to be a beautiful weekend for me. I'll drop by Market! Market! tomorrow to see Augy, get my caffeine fix at Starbucks (and another holiday sticker), grab some doughnuts at Krispy Kreme and window shop. More pink and red stuff, pairs of shoes, sexy tops, adorable thingamajigs I can wear all the time, books, lingerie (I collect thongs now), makeup and FOOD. I scrap my diet on weekends. I shove more food down my mouth than I would usually eat on weekdays. I can give up rice, but not my chocolates and cakes. Never ever.

I am sooo happy. Happy doesn't even come close to what I feel. Mmmm...

feistylittle bitch
11:42 PM