You're Just Too Good To Be True
I was my usual bitchy, tense self a few days ago. I spent an hour after shift listening to a senior agent drone on and on about updates for the program. I was so annoyed at his nervous gestures while speaking in front of us. He kept tapping on the screen and keyboard. I wanted to give him pointers on how to train people. His eyes flitted here and there. No eye contact from the guy. To top it all off, my head was pounding. Lack of sleep gives me headaches and I was sure it would worsen when I leave the building. I hate walking under the heat of the sun. I hate the prickly feeling on my skin. The fact that I was not into the training/meeting greatly added to my anxiety. After taking the quiz and getting a perfect score, I hurriedly left with Erika expecting to be stuck in Coastal Road for the counterflow.
Imagine my surprise when I boarded an almost empty bus to Dasma and found out that the counterflow stopped an hour ago. Off to Coastal Road we go and I listened to Rhea Santos' voice announcing the day's news on Unang Hirit. Then she said the words that left my mouth hanging open. Iniimbestigahan ng pulisya ang pagkamatay ng bida ng Brokeback Mountain na si Heath Ledger.
My heart stopped for a second there and I found mysef sending messages to friends.
omg, heath ledger died. waaaahhh!
I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. Not because I don't like the film, but because I simply do not have time to go out and watch movies. I bought a cd of 10 Things I Hate About You years ago and I have seen Heath Ledger serenade Julia Stiles with 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You' a hundred times. Well, not really a hundred, but just enough to fall in love with him from the time he started singing, swinging down the pole and dancing right out there in the open field. I loved him. His curly hair, his Australian accent and his light, easy smile. I saw him in The Patriot too. Two films. But I didn't forget him. I have foreign actors I like. I don't fall head over heels in love with them, dream of them or wish to see them personally even. I just adore them from a distance if that's what you can call watching their shows and films on television.
I lapped up every article in the internet about Heath and his death. I watched 10 Things I Hate About You about four times already. I would repeat his singing scene all over again until I got so sick of it. It just breaks my heart everytime I read about how he doted on his daughter, Matilda Rose and how he was happy during the last days of his life. I can never imagine him taking his own life. For now, I will think of it as an accident. Tragic, heartbreaking...
My brothers and I will watch The Dark Knight in the theater when it opens in the Philippines. I will probably cry more than get excited upon seeing him still alive and getting into the role of The Joker.
I still have my 10 Things I Hate About You cd. I can watch and listen to him sing all day if I want to. I hope they're as entranced with your voice as I am, Heath. May the angels get as giddy with excitement as I do when I hear the first lines of the song…
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
Heathcliff Andrew Ledger 4 April 1979- 22 January 2008
About having a child:
"You're forced into kind of, respecting yourself more," he said. :"You learn more about yourself through your child, I guess. I think you also look at death differently. It's like a Catch-22: I feel good about dying now because I feel like I'm alive in her, you know, but at the same hand, you don't want to die because you want to be around for the rest of her life.”
Heath with Matilda
Matilda's footprints with her name scrawled by Heath outside their home
About growing up with his mom and his sisters:
"I learned respect for women, and patience. You grow up with all those women around you...you learn to wait your turn." - Cosmopolitan, June 1998
