What a depressing week. I filed for two vacation leaves more than a month ago for a much-awaited trip to the beach. I shopped for stuff last Saturday before watching the film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Imagine my excitement about finally going to the sea after three years. I brighten up every time I see summer dresses and swimsuits in shop windows. I couldn't bottle up my excitement. I told my friends that I wouldn't be able to party at Embassy for our team's first anniversary because I would be somewhere in Batangas rolling around in the sand. Everybody was envious of my approved vacation leaves and my weekend at the beach. After so much stress, I knew I deserved a little break. But what's a promise but something more to break. I have to say goodbye to my beach fantasy this weekend. How many more promises to break? How many more false hopes for me? All I did these past few days was cry my heart out. You can slap me in the face or scream at me and I won't even flinch. But breaking my heart this way is just too much. I don't know what to do to release the pent up emotions. I cried buckets of tears already. I moped inside my room. I slept the whole day. I read my Harry Potter book. I cursed. I stuffed myself with food like there's no tomorrow. I still feel awful. I hate having that sickening feeling in the stomach. I feel angry. I feel depressed. I feel sorry for myself. There goes my hope of a wonderful weekend at the beach. And the fat tears start falling.
***
I hate you so much. But I hate myself more for believing you after all those broken promises. I guess you simply enjoy breaking my heart to do it all over again.Don't expect a girl to forgive you all the time like it's the easiest thing to do on earth. I don't need words. I don't need promises. I need actions.
feistylittle bitch 11:34 PM
JUKEBOX
PEARL
26-year-old bitch who dreams of being rich enough to do everything she wants when she wants...
<3
LOVES
good books. sumptuous food. interesting conversations. travel. beaches. makeup. beauty treatments. music. road trips. educational tv shows. brilliant women. fashion and beauty magazines. romance. junk food.
desserts. sunrise. cool, foggy mornings. lots and lots of time to snooze. relaxing weekends.
):
HATES
hypocrites. bitches who have no originality. people from the past who just cannot shut their trap and stay in the shadows. creatures who find happiness in the misfortunes of others.
assholes definitely.
WISHLIST!
happiness. beauty. love.
hodgepodge of madness, vanity and feistiness from a woman out to discover herself
