I Wish
Tick tock, tick tock. It's the clock ticking. A few more days before my birthday and I'm getting this I'm-a-good-for-nothing-twenty-five-year-old mode. It happens all the time before my birthday comes up. I end up looking back on all the years, the things that I've done, the things I didn't do and the things I could have done but didn't. There are some regrets but there are some things that turned into blessings in disguise for me. With how my life is going, I sometimes bemoan the rut I am in. But as I've told my friend, Brendo, we should be thankful for a lot of things even our boring, so-so jobs. Some people have degrading, yucky jobs but they still find a reason to smile each day. I should stick that into my little head.
Inspite of the lack of this and that in my life, I am more blessed than others. Why do I always have this feeling that nothing goes right in my life while everyone else's is going great? I should have an idea of what I want in my life by now right? I wish.
Since I'm feeling extra blue, let me just wrack my brains for positive things. Like today is a Friday and I don't have work tonight. My brothers will soon wake up and we can watch movies together. Tomorrow's a Saturday and I will meet Augy to celebrate our second anniversary. I am alive and whole. No twisted body parts. A head of thick, unruly hair. Bitchy smile still on my face. Happy family. Enough apples in the fridge to support my weight loss program. What a blessing.
