beauty inside and out.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Life's Lessons

With only a day left for me to sleep, eat and relax, I decided to finally blog about my brother's graduation last week. I admit that I felt annoyed at having to go to Tagaytay. Not because I didn't want to be there for Kit's high school graduation but because I didn't want to take the bus. Adding to that was my mom's suggestion that I go alone. A shy person like me wouldn't last an hour in an auditorium packed with people who know each other and who would be inclined to talk and laugh while I sat there quiet and alone. Kit would be there of course but he would be sitting far from my seat so that made the idea even more appalling. Good thing, my lola was eager to come along so it cheered me up. I really wanted to be there for my brother on such a special day. Another surprise popped up before I went to bed. My dad would drive us to Tagaytay and stay there until the whole ceremony ends.

It was hard for me to wake up really early during my off because I am used to staying in bed until lunch. I usually sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning even if I feel sleepy. I have this desire to make the most of my off. I have to be awake the whole time just to feel how it is to be at home with my family. It was difficult to sleep before midnight but for the love of my youngest brother, I did. I woke up as soon as my lola entered my room, I ate breakfast in a jiffy and took a 20-minute bath. I made sure to dress up quickly lest my dad gets irritated by the amount of time I spend primping in front of the mirror.

We left the house at 6 in the morning. My dad decided to take the road going to Amadeo instead of passing by Aguinaldo Highway even if it would take longer for us to get to the Tagaytay International Convention Center. I enjoyed looking out the window and just taking the scenery in. My dad pointed out where our relatives live, a little bit of family history here and there. It felt good knowing that there's a place where I could always run to and feel safe. There's nothing like having a family I must say.

We got to the Convention Center a few minutes past 7. Parents and students milled around the entrance and I spent my time talking to my lola. By the time we were allowed to enter the place, we spotted some friends, Thea's lola, mom and brother. Thea is Kit's batchmate and they studied preschool together in a school near our home. They got separated during their elementary days and got reunited in high school. Thea and her family live in the village beside ours and my lola is friends with her lola because they used to wait for their apos in school. We hurried to the washroom before the ceremony started which was later than we expected.

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Kit and Aron (he likes Thea so much that he would ask Kit to accompany him to her house all the time). They spend so much time together even eating meals at each other's homes.

My lola and chose seats near the stage so I can scurry forward to take snapshots. I had to chase Kit around just to get some pictures for him to remember his high school graduation by. The ceremony started late because the first speaker came in late. We prayed, sang songs of praise and listened to the speaker's words of encouragement for the graduates. I sang 'Great is Thy Faithfulness' at the top of my lungs. It felt good to sing that song after years of not going to church. I suddenly remembered how strong and secure I feel whenever I attend worship and listen to God's words. It felt good knowing that whatever happens, I can always rely on God to strengthen me.

The ceremony lasted for two hours. We listened to the salutatorian and valedictorian deliver their speeches. I choked back a sob when the salutatorian dedicated her medal to her parents. Those high school kids made me sniffle and wipe my eyes dry. I was seated near the girls and they cried even at the start of the salutatorian's speech. They hugged each other, laughed and cried some more. One pair stood out from the rest. I couldn't resist taking a snapshot of those two girls. They held hands the whole time they sang their graduation song, Like An Eagle.

So heartwarming

It was hard taking a picture of Kit accepting his diploma because of those horrid Styrofoam decors. The parents and other family members had to stay behind a line of COCC officers to keep things orderly. I ended up chasing Kit near the stage because he didn't stop for one last picture. Some of his female batchmates who included the girl he's courting laughed at the sight of us bickering with each other.

Picture na pinaghirapan ng ate

After the ceremony, my lola and I left Kit to spend some time with his friends. My dad who stayed in our AUV already made friends with a man who lives in a house just outside the convention center's gate. We bought three pots of plants from him before leaving for SM Dasma. We stopped by Silang to buy meat before eating lunch at the mall. We decided to eat at KFC because my dad was starving and it was the first fastfood we spotted upon entering the mall. I paid for the food feeling like a proper grownup again. I had to order two meals for Kit who ended up not finishing all his food. My dad ate his leftovers. Haha. My dad went home right after lunch, Kit met up with his friend and my lola went with me to the department store so I could look for board shorts.

I found really cute shorts at the Teens' Wear Department. It was a major achievement to fit into a pair of large board shorts made for teenagers. I saw Kit's schoolmate choose a pair with her mom. Feeling teenager ako. =)

My lola and I headed to Watson's and Jollibee before going home. I bought Mango de Crema Ice Craze for Gem. By the time we got home, the ice turned into liquid and I had to place the takeout plastic in the freezer for an hour before he could eat it.

Kit enjoyed high school so much. Last Friday, they were watching One Piece episodes on DVD when he said, 'Nakakadepress.'

It surprised me not fully realizing that kids like him who spend days laughing and hanging out get depressed too. I asked him why and his answer broke my heart.

'Wala nang high school.'

***

Kit: Ate, ate... Alam mo ba naiiyak na nga

ako nung graduation. Kaya lang nagpatawa yung classmate ko kasi maiiyak kami. Pagkatapos nun, di na ako naiyak.

Another time...

Kit: Nakakatuwa yung principal namin. Mahina kasi yung kuryente sa PCU tapos lahat ng rooms aircon... One time namatay yung aircon sabay umandar uli.

(Sir Morales: Hay naku, ang kuryente talaga sa PCU nagflufluctuate nanaman.)

Kit: Hindi alam ni Sir Morales yung classmates ko nasa likod ng room sa may control ng kuryente. Pinapatay nila tapos binubuksan uli. Hehe.

Me: Buti hindi nakuryente classmates mo!

Kit: May gloves eh. Na-guidance nga kami kasi nahuli pero nanonood lang naman ako eh. Tawa lang ako ng tawa.

Boys...

***
After I attended my brother's graduation, I felt intense longing to be with them. I love getting stuck at home with them doing nothing. I worry when Kit's not home after dark. My brothers are growing up and knowing that we'll soon lead separate lives in a few years makes me want to spend more and more time with them. My brothers keep me happy nowadays.

***
I have learned that I can listen to what people say about me and believe that what they think about me is who and what I am. I can let them convince me that I am the person they see me to be. But I refuse to be affected by people who have only known me in so short a time and yet have the guts to judge me. I will never let anybody hurt me by saying that there is something wrong with how I do and say things.

You don't know me. I won't waste my time knowing who you are. Just seeing how you act and knowing how you think made me realize that I do not want to be like you. Nor anywhere near you. I will not give you the right to hurt me in any way. I pity you. You are beneath me. Just by how you behave, you are way beneath me.

(Heck, you don't even know what a blog is...)

***
In two days, I have learned the painful lesson of forgiveness. Live and let live. I have grown to appreciate my family, my friends, Augy and every little thing about my life. Some things like my job suck but I have a home to run to at the end of the day and loved ones who care for me and know me in a way others don't. Those are enough. I am blessed beyond words. I am complete. I am safe.

feistylittle bitch
3:48 AM