beauty inside and out.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Fresh Start

My eyes are drooping, drooping, drooping...

My phone's alarm gave me a jolt at four in the morning. I NEVER wake up early during my off. I stay up until the wee hours of the morning but waking up at that time is unimaginable. However, it was Kit's graduation. I had to accompany him to the Tagaytay International Convention Center because my mom couldn't leave work. My dad drove me, Kit and my lola there early in the morning. I want to write down everything that transpired but my head is nodding off. Sleep beckons. I will write about my day with high school kids next week. =)

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baby no more

feistylittle bitch
9:04 AM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Anything and Everything About Me

I suddenly found the desire to write. I always end up writing during ungodly hours. I know my parents can hear the tap-tapping of the keys while I'm typing since the computer room is adjacent to their bedroom. I type in a computer like I would in a typewriter. I don't know why I love making so much noise. =)

Gem's done with their course's battery exam. They had to take two sets of exams about the subjects they had in the two years they have already spent in Nursing school. It was his birthday last Friday, March 16. I went home on Saturday morning and found a roll of Goldilocks' mocha cake and a box of brownies in the refrigerator. On Sunday afternoon, I passed by the grocery store outside our village to buy a gallon of Selecta's Double Dutch ice cream only to find another gallon of Magnolia's trio ice cream in mango, ube and chocolate flavors. My dad cooked spaghetti yesterday afternoon and I ended up grating cheese while watching my favorite show, Miami Ink in Discovery Travel and Living. I ate a lot. Too much in fact for my diet. Am I really turning into an anorexic? I don't know. I vowed to stop eating starting later. I had lots of ice cream. I masked the amount of the sweet treat I ate by eating them in cones and not in bowls like what Gem and my lola do. Kunyari konti lang yung kinain ko. Pero ilang cones ba ako in one day? Hehe.

Augy and I spent Sunday pigging out. Yellow Cab's Manhattan Meatlovers and hot wings again! Clubhouse sandwich and fries. Eating like there's no tomorrow is what we normally do when we're together. Just imagine what would happen to my body if we spend a lot of time together like during my Xbox stint. I grew really, really chubby. One time, I had dinner with Gladz in Pizza Hut and she couldn't help but exclaim, 'Anong ginawa ni Augy sa iyo, best friend?' Gladz is currently M.I.A. I don't know what's happening to her lately. I make sure to text her daily though.

I watch Miami Ink every week. If I end up snoozing early on Sunday evenings, I make sure to catch the show on Monday afternoons. I am so enamored with Ami James, who co-owns the tattoo shop, Miami Ink along with Chris Nunez. I like Chris but Ami caught my eye the first time I watched an episode. He served in the Israel Defense Forces. He's bald as you can see (like Augy). I find that sexy. I now find tattoos sexy. I might even have a tattoo done someday. I need a ticket to Miami, Florida. Haha!

Yoji Harada, Chris Nunez, Darren Brass, Chris Garver and Ami James

Remember the time I happily announced that our kleptomaniac teammate doesn't come to work anymore? Well, she's back. Grr... I am so evil.

Last week was okay at work since I received emails. It made the days seem shorter than usual. I'm applying for a mortgage account because I want to be trained in the States. That's how bored I am with my life. I find ways to amuse myself. I hope that life will become sweeter for me. I guess compared to some people, my life is uncomplicated, devoid of sorrows and pain but sometimes I find it utterly boring. I am longing for adventure. I ponder on going home to Antique but my parents will spend the Holy Week in Mindoro. I don't want to go there while the house is being constructed. I don't have anything to do though my mom said they'll go for a dip in the sea. My aunt and her whole family (that includes baby bitch, Quincy) will go home to Antique and I thought of tagging along but I am saving my cash for a little adventure before the end of the year and I don't really want to trouble them. I am prone to tantrums and mood swings. When partnered with Quin, my aunt will surely throw a fit.

I feel so down lately. I am usually lively during my rest days. It must be the stress or the boredom. I don't know. My mood shifts in a snap so I am expecting things to look up for me tomorrow.

My family and I had a conversation in the living room after dinner except for Kit who went to bed early. We discussed illnesses that are hereditary. We mentioned tuberculosis, diabetes then I curiously asked if my family has one illness that gets passed from one generation to the next. My dad uttered the word heart. With my heart broken so many times, I wonder why my heart hasn't stopped? When you find love, I guess it keeps it alive. =)

feistylittle bitch
1:29 AM

Monday, March 19, 2007

Click!

I have no time to write something long and decent so here are snapshots from my dad's little weekend in Mindoro.

the lechon that my dad turned into lechon paksiw for Gem's birthday when he got home

the construction of my parents' house in Mindoro

my family has always loved the sea. it shows from my name (Reapearl) to the family business...

feistylittle bitch
6:37 PM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Pain

How do you get over the pain of wanting something so bad but not even come close to having it within your grasp? Something as simple as a childhood dream that not even your best friend knows about. Only long-forgotten autographs would bear witness to your innocent yearning. Nobody knows how you've dreamed about it for so long. The pain is heartbreaking.

I guess my heart is now in tiny pieces.

feistylittle bitch
6:36 AM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Wishful Thinking

The reality of working my ass off for another four days is slowly sinking in. I feel lazy about having to get out of bed and working for 11 hours and yet I feel determined to earn enough to do what I want by the end of this year. I have such a beautiful, exciting plan that keeps me on my toes. When I feel like quitting my stressful job to stay at home and watch television and eat all day, I get snapped out of my crazy thoughts and I keep going no matter how bored and depressed I am. Why can't I be as rich as some friends who get to travel every year wherever they want? Wishful thinking. God gives you what you need and not what you want. Not everything I want is good for me anyway. What's the use of being envious of other people's good fortune. I just have to keep on working and earning until my dreams are within my reach. Who am I to complain when some people have nothing but the clothes on their backs?

***
I had a blast last Sunday. I spent time with Augy of course. We feasted on KFC chicken, hotshots, and burger. I ate like there was no tomorrow. Maybe because I don't eat that much in the office and I consider weekends like I would holidays where I would stuff my face with food. Calorie-laden or not, I don't even care. I eat whatever I want, whatever I can put my hands into. I am all of 105 pounds now. I don't even know if that is right for my height. What is my height anyway? I should know because I want to apply as a flight attendant. Nevermind if I don't know how to swim well. Nevermind if I might be less than 160 centimeters. I can always try. A childhood dream gone unfulfilled.

on the way to Glorietta

Days with Augy are spent pigging out. We had lunch at Gerry's Grill in Glorietta. It was hot outside. It was a reminder that summer is a few weeks away. After an eternity waiting for our food, the waiter approached and informed us that the food will be a few minutes late because there was a problem with the cooker or whatever contraption they have in the kitchen. I was getting antsy but I didn't show it. We spent the whole time talking and taking pictures. There were families sitting all around us and we watched two little girls run around and we ogled at a chubby baby boy in his mother's arms.

i can eat a cow

We were first served our spicy chicken and garlic rice that we devoured. I dipped my chicken in vinegar and relished the taste of pepper in my mouth. We had to wait for our pork sisig for a few minutes more. We had to eat it without rice because we finished everything off before it got served. I felt dizzy after eating sisig. Augy and I strolled around the mall and went to Bibliarch. He checked some comic books while I browsed through some novels. Since he was craving for ice cream, we walked to Icebergs where we both had choco chip parfaits. More conversations and pictures before we took the cab home.

homebound

I am in search of a new job because work sucks. Kidding. I am just plain bored and I want to shift careers. Yeah right. I want to be a couch potato. Or a housewife so I can watch Wowowee and Eat Bulaga everyday. I can catch Full House and Palimos ng Pag-ibig before the evening news. Utterly pathetic.

feistylittle bitch
9:38 PM

Monday, March 05, 2007

Bits and Pieces

Some days can be good or bad. Some days they can be both. A day I had last week was downright nasty. Some people think I don't have it in me to be bitchy, but I do. I can be sarcastic at times and that is something a lot of people have noticed about me. I can't help it. Smirk. I get stuck with Erika and Jill and the sarcasm intensifies. We ganged up on our kleptomaniac teammate, Sally. She hasn't been going to work since. Am I sorry? Well... Guilty maybe. Sorry? No.

I'm trying to be good now you see and I don't want to act like such a mean bitch. That was the last time I'm going to feel good about getting even. Revenge has never been my thing and being bad is not something I can ever be proud of. It was well worth being evil though.

***
I was eating my shark's fin dumplings that I bought in Dimsum and Dumplings while my friends were pigging out at KFC a few nights ago when I read Gem's message that he lost Kit's Adidas trainers. Somebody stole the shoes while his whole class was having an exam. I felt bad for him because the pair wasn't his and shoes like that don't come cheap. My lola told me the next morning when I got home that he arrived dazed and troubled. Kleptomaniacs abound. I comforted him by saying that he'll get a thousand pairs someday and the guy who stole his shoes might find himself with no feet at all. Karma I say.

One thing that cheered him up was the news that he won't have to take the Statistics final exam. Smart. It makes me so proud.

***
I am back to reading my Tolkien books again. Five years after I secretly hoarded them from National Bookstore, I find myself whipping them out in the bus on the way to work. Days off are spent in bed clutching at my books and softly reading and absorbing the words. You know you're crazy when you cry at the parts that are not even mushy. I am insane.

***
Augy and I spent another lazy Sunday together. I headed straight to Yellow Cab in PeopleSupport after work and ordered Manhattan Meatlovers and hot wings. I was excited to see him. He frowned at my sudden weight loss. Am I anorexic? I don't know. I'm not THAT thin. Eating just scares me sometimes. I don't eat at night during my days off and I eat only a little rice once a day. I pigged out on pizza though. There's nothing like eating without thinking of getting fat. I shoved food into my mouth. Pizza and chicken have never tasted that good.

For lunch, we decided to eat at Gerry's again. It's becoming a tradition now. I sipped at my Venti mocha frappe on the way to the restaurant. That was the last of my Starbucks gift certificate. Sigh. We sat near an old Chinese couple. Augy told me that it would be such a great achievement to grow old together. How it would feel really good to be together after so many years. Sweet.

The rest of the time we spent at Serendra walking around and looking at books in A Different Bookstore. Only one thing spoiled the beautiful day. My tummy ached terribly and I had to go to Xbox to use the washroom. I sent a message to Iryn because the moment reminded me of her own misery weeks ago. Haha.

Serendra

Market! Market!

***
I went home early Saturday morning with Erika and Jill. I was in Cavite at 4:30 am. On the way to the village's guardhouse, a huge white dog looked at me with contempt and barked. Uh-oh. Not another one. Nobody was out in the streets since it was a weekend. I tiptoed back beside the dark vulcanizing shop near the gate and called our home phone. My dad answered the phone and he said he would pick me up near the gate. I was standing nervously waiting for him to approach me but I saw nothing. Then out of the darkness, I saw a man in shorts with no shirt on running and flapping his arms. My dad scared the hell of the poor dog. It ran into the opposite direction and the dogs in our block barked and howled. I was so ashamed to have roused the whole neighborhood.

My dad followed me home and I discovered that a friend gave him a puppy that he will bring to Mindoro on Wednesday. We couldn't find the pup anywhere. My lola looked under the beds using a flashlight and I peeked out the door to see if it slipped past my dad when he went out to pick me up. After so many tiring minutes, it ventured out of its hiding place. My lola christened him Jack. I wonder where she got the name. I'm starting to love the puppy but I can't hold on to him with three grown dogs that we already care for at home.

Jack, what big mouth you have!

Iryn and I have plans of traveling here and there. I feel like a hobbit with my love for adventure, home, food and nature. I will keep mum about it lest I ruin the beautiful, wonderful plans. Excitement runs through me like electricity.

***
I spoiled myself today. I drank lots of Milo, bit into Oreo cookies, sipped mango juice and feasted on Bread Pan and choco caramel balls. I love losing control sometimes. I deserve all those munchies.

***

I had my hair trimmed. Summer, here I come!

feistylittle bitch
11:00 PM