right before my very eyes...
With all the complaints, rants and worldly desires that plague my heart and soul daily, I took the time to reflect on the things and people that I should have appreciated and taken seriously last year. Some things were frustrating, some boring and others, unappreciated and barely noticed. Here are some of them from my list...
My job (or make that jobs). I worked for Expedia for a few months and I felt like I was going on a tour of hell every single night so I can see what awaits me if I constantly sin. I remember sitting by the office's main lobby before my shift would start and text Augy or Gladz for comfort and encouragement. I would call Augy numerous times amidst the hum of the aircon and the beeping sound of the door's security system. I would usually feel sleepy and down in the dumps. Crawling back to bed was more tempting to me than earning moolah. Screw shopping if my heart's not into my only legitimate source of income (asking from mom does not count).
That was the second time I felt horrible about working. The first time was when I worked as a virtual trainer for Xbox and a co-worker and I were assigned in JMT. I ended up physically sick and depressed. My loneliness manifested itself through fever. I did not expect that the second time would give me palpitations. I panicked and resigned without much thought. I look back with no regrets. I find my job now more enjoyable and my co-workers have become my good friends despite the quirky behaviors. Expedia taught me a lot of things like patience and determination. I gritted my teeth through the weeks that I had to study and memorize airline and hotel policies, airport codes, capitals and cities of countries in the world. It was no joke. Some people think working in a call center is no sweat. That's what I find painfully amusing. I am thankful that I went through such a mentally exhausting experience because it proved that I am still able to achieve some things with hard work.
I have let go of wonderful things too because of hasty decisions made by a befuddled mind. Leaving Xbox was one of them. Augy asked me if I wanted to go back in February of last year, but I refused because I was on training for Expedia. I sometimes wish I took the offer because I miss the place, the environment and my many friends who turn out to be men. There's Iryn of course, but I have to admit that my stint with Xbox was made extra memorable by the antics and anecdotes of the guys. Guys are uncomplicated. You can be brutally frank, rowdy and carefree anytime you want without being judged. Gaano ko ba kamahal ang Xbox? I quit being a virtual trainer to take calls with my friends. I turned down being endorsed as a team captain or QA just to go back. Sigh. No regrets though. There are blessings hidden beneath terribly stupid decisions. I would never have met the down-to-earth, funny people I am with now if I stayed. You win some, you lose some. Sa muling pagbabalik, Xbox.
Milenyo. I did not take the storm signal seriously. I have always thought that I shouldn't worry about anything since our village doesn't get flooded like Sampaloc or Malabon, but Typhoon Milenyo taught me a valuable lesson I will never forget. We did not experience wading in floodwaters, but we endured not having electricity and running water for a few days. We had enough water for cooking, washing the dishes, brushing our teeth, cleaning up and flushing our toilets, but we had to make sure that no drop is wasted. I did not take a bath for one day because we were uncertain about where to get the water supply if the typhoon lasted for an extra day or two. Thanks to my parents' ingenuity, we didn't have to worry about our bathrooms stinking to the highest heavens because we have a contraption specially made for storing rainwater.
Typhoon Milenyo taught me not to grumble about making do with the littlest comforts I had then. I realized how important having every member of my family is when our beloved mango tree surrendered to Milenyo's strength. I was in the living room wincing and screaming while my parents and Kit were outside trying to keep the tree from slamming into our house and AUV. I almost suffered a heart attack when Kit had to run to a friend's hardware a block away to get some materials to use in securing the tree. It was not an easy task with roofs being blown away by the strong winds and the knowledge that my brother can get hurt within the ten minutes he was away from my sight. I cursed in front of my parents too for the very first time when Kit climbed up the tree trunk with an itak in one hand to cut off some branches which were pulling our electric and phone lines down. Seeing how vulnerable he was made me hysterical.
Kit cutting some branches during a lull in the storm...
Kit gets the nastiest scolding in the house most of the time from my parents, lola and me. I find it hard to discipline him nowadays with all the influence he gets from friends and classmates. He is so different from Gem who is so driven and hardworking. He is the only one who can fearlessly fight back when my dad gives him a sermon he thinks he doesn't deserve. Kit may not get excellent grades (because he is such a lazybone) and he might not know what he wants to do with his life yet (as I do not know what to do with mine), but he is not clueless when it comes to survival. I saw with my own two eyes that my brother is no longer the baby who needed me to wash his butt and clean up after him. He is the most unappreciated person in the house though he does the dirty jobs most of the time. Kit gets a lot of sermons from the moment he wakes up until the time he shuts his eyes to sleep, but he accepts everything with a shrug. I never expected the typhoon to bring me to the realization that my dad is not the only man in the house now.
