Grief
It's raining cats and dogs outside. I had my weekend planned out in my head. My teammates and I had an early lunch slash teambuilding in Dampa, Diosdado Macapagal Avenue last Saturday. I wolfed down leche flan, sisig, steamed lapu-lapu, sweet and sour fish, and calamares in one sitting. Nevermind the diet so I can fit into my two-piece swimsuits and tankini. I rarely indulge myself so I had selective amnesia that day and went on munching.
***
In the middle of an animated conversation with friends, my phone rang. I didn't notice that a message was sent to me a few minutes before that. It was Augy. He was upset about a testimonial I wrote for a friend who turns out to be an ex. So I didn't tell him about adding the testimonial. Shoot me. I know he wouldn't approve of it. I have a mind of my own and I can be pretty bull-headed at times. I'll do what I want and screw the consequences. I know I was wrong, but I did it because I am certain that he wouldn't let me write something for the chap. For crying out loud, it has been three years since the time I went out with him. He's in a long-term relationship with a girlfriend that he has known since college. I am not too much of a bitch to ruin what I have now and seduce the guy. Believe me, I am so sick of men and their ways that I'd rather be with my best friend than torment myself over them.
****
So I am facing objections about a trip to Batangas with my best friend and our college friends next weekend. I went on a diet for a month just for this much-anticipated beach rendezvous. It has been three years since I've seen some of them. I find the reasons unacceptable because I had this planned out a month ago. The frustration tears at my heart. What a great way to cry while the rain falls outside. My life is cold and dreary. My heart is broken into pieces.
***
I was supposed to go to the mall with my parents, lola and niece this afternoon to buy beach shorts and flipflops, but I stayed home. I ended up sleeping in my bedroom wrapped in my blanket and with the radio blaring to drown out the sounds of the pounding rain. I was roused from a fitful slumber by Gem who asked me to print his homework. I ended up taking a freezing bath in the middle of the night to do what he asked and to lament on my current situation. I am comforted by the thought that I can sob all I want in this cozy nook we had the carpenters make for us two weeks ago. I can hear the wind howling, the rain rushing down from the water spout and my mournful sighs while typing this post with no Spell Check and no Microsoft Word to guide me. I am obsessed with grammar, but not tonight. There are more things to cry about than pathetic grammar.
